Ok, this is where I will rant about something that I feel needs to be said. If you see me or a photo of me after reading my rant you may think that I am a hyprocate. I tell you that is not the case!
Truth is I am just being honest. And I have learned from the actions of others. When I see something that just isn't right then I have to acknowledge it for what it is. It is my policy of brutal honesty or painful truth, for the truth shall set you free. So said the preacher.
Todays rant is long overdue! I'm talking about FAT people. Yes I am fat, but I do care. I have changed habits as I have grown older and I realize the need to make that change and to become more physically fit. And I have learned by the actions of other fat people who do stupid things and in my opinion make all of fat society look bad.
Yes, I deliver pizzas as a part time job. NO I don't eat a pizza every day. But I deliver pizzas to people who really should be ashamed of themselves. FAT people! People who frequently call and order food delivery as if they have a family to feed. A large pizza with everything on it, plus chicken wings, bread sticks and dessert. Enough food to feed several people but when you deliver this order to a house you stand and wait for several minutes while a heavy set woman opens the door, out of breath from lifting her fat ass off the couch and while paying for her order she complains that her 2 liter DIET COKE is not cold.
Yes I said DIET coke!
Why is it that I see so many fat people ordering high calorie meals and over indulging on them and they have the nerve to wash it down with a DIET soda? What's the point? Is that diet soda suppose to reduce the fat content of the food you just ate? So instead of gaining 5 pounds you drink the diet coke and only gain 4 1/2 pounds. Is this the new FAT math?
I have been delivering pizza for a long time. Too long! And I have come to know the type of customer. The obese person who calls with a list of items and specific cooking instructions. "Make sure you don't forget my dipping sauce!" or "make that double pepperoni". And you go to the house thinking there is a family waiting for dinner or the guys are about to watch the game on TV. And what you find is someone who is home alone and should definitely be ordering a salad instead of a deep dish pizza. I see it all the time and it is sad. And knowing how common this is and how bad this looks has taught me to NEVER be caught doing the same behavior.
Another FAT people rant: Fat people in small cars!
There comes a time when saving gas is NOT really important. If you are driving and your butt spills over into the passenger seat, you need a bigger car! I know a 400 pound woman who drives a KIA! The steering wheel in this car is truly her "bosom buddy". If those nipples got hard, she would blow the horn!
I know that was crass but i'm sorry. Her ass is too big for a Kia! With todays gas prices I understand the need to get better gas mileage. But get a bigger car! Something that does not lean to the side when you sit down. I know many fat people with minivans. They can drive them comfortably and have plenty of room for groceries. (Don't try to fool me into thinking that ALL fat people in minivans actually drive kids to soccer practice!)
Again, I am fat! I admit it and fully accept it. And I don't drive a Kia, Colbalt, Cavalier, Escort, Focus, Neon or any other cheap little car. I drive vehicles that don't involve having the steering wheel pressed against my gut. FAT PEOPLE, PLEASE GET OUT OF THOSE TINY CARS!!
And if I have not totally offended someone yet.........
I am so glad it is approaching winter time. It may be too cold for me, but at least I won't have to witness shirtless lard asses mowing their lawn. And I won't have to see fat heffers who think they have an ass like Beyonce's and they could wear the tightest of clothes and the shortest of shorts. Those "Daisy Dukes" become more like "Big Mama Daisy Mae's" and despite whatever these women are trying to believe, it aint pretty!
And one more thing!
It is that time when FAT people think that they are going to get fit in the new year. You count the days until January 1st and you let yourself go until then. It's that "last one before the diet" phase. You eat everything in sight. All of the holiday food favorites and you make that last run to all of your favorite restaurants. Then after the new year fat people begin searching for the GYM or Fitness club. All of which are more than eager to take your FAT money for a membership.
Read this very carefully! The real fit and thin members of the fitness clubs do not want your fat ass in their way. Your diet and weight loss plan will not last long into the new year. So why waste your time and theirs? Why waste the money? Leave the fitness clubs alone. The gym bunnies who are serious about being fit will appreciate it if you stayed away.
I know some fat people who will hate me for this blog. Oh well, they'll eat something and get over it.
Excuse me while I go check on the Ham in the oven.
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