Greetings everyone.
This is the first of my weekly blogs expressing my own observations of a favorite television contest, “The Amazing Race” season 14. I have been doing this for the past three years and this will be the first time that I posted my weekly Amazing Race blogs on blogspot. I posted the previous season’s opinions on MySpace but it has become more difficult to post blogs there because of their ever changing settings that mess up a good blog posting many times forcing me to go back and “fix” problems with my blog’s appearance. Also, I think for more access and less drama, its time to go a more mainstream and intelligent route.
This is not to say that I am in any ways “intelligent”. Actually when it comes to “The Amazing Race” I can be a bit of a bitch. I am totally biased against certain types of people but I try my best to be open minded.
I love the show for I feel this is one of the greatest competitions on television. I love to see the adventure and certainly love to watch as they travel worldwide. It inspires me to want to travel abroad which I never have. I also had a few minutes of insanity when I for some reason thought I too could be a contestant on The Amazing Race. Then I see the teams in some foreign land where they would have to ride on filthy trains then over eat fried exotic rodents or worms in some alleged fine dining establishment and we sometimes see one of the contestants vomiting on the side of the dinner table. Those moments tend to cure me of my dream of ever becoming a contestant on The Amazing Race.
And just to put “for the record”, as you read my blogs you will see that I often give teams my own nicknames often referring to specific “tokens”. What do I mean by “tokens”? Well if you haven’t noticed, there seems to be this formula in selecting teams for The Amazing Race. You have a “friends” team. Then you have to have the token young married couple, the token older married couple, the newly dating couple and the couple with relationship issues, the token siblings, the token best buds who are either horny jock type wannabes, blue collar working stiffs or bumbling nerds. There are also either “the country bumpkins” or “Hillbillys” or “hippies” team. Usually one of those at a time especially the one year there was the “goth” team. There are the token parent/child teams and you ABSOLUTELY have include the token Black (or “African American) couple so as for the show to not be considered “racist” and they could also be any of the other “tokens” that I mentioned. One of my favorite teams in the history of The Amazing Race are the winners of the show from 2005, married couple Uchenna & Joyce.
Other “token” categories in my biased and sometimes bitchy blog expressions are the all-female teams. One is almost always the blonde bimbos or beauty queens depending on my mood and their success in the race. Then there are the brunette bimbos or beauty queens. And for some reason, the brunettes tend to be rather bitchy but can kick some ass on the show.
And finally, there is usually the token gay or lesbian contestant. Every show must have at least one but the Amazing Race may have missed in a couple seasons. One gay couple won the Amazing Race in its early years. They were two good looking athletic guys named Chip and Reichen. And for some reason the guy named “Reichen” (pronounced RYE-KEN) is assumed to be some sort of gay male god. To me he appears to be a self involved “think he is so cute” asshole who must drools while checking himself out in front of a full length mirror naked every morning. I think he is an arrogant no-talent shallow shit.
Yes, that is one of the biased opinions I tend to post about The Amazing Race. Oh and there have been gay drama queen types on the show over the years too. Lesbians have been represented on the show as well but I regret it was not with much success.
This season’s gay team is also a father and son team. BOTH the father and the son are gay! And I predict that neither of them are going to get much respect in the gay community because they aren’t picture perfect for any centerfold. I still wish them well.
Sometimes The Amazing Race will include a team member with a special condition showing the world that despite whatever disability or impairment, a person CAN achieve. One year the show had a woman who lost one leg but still triumphed in athletics. Unfortunately she partnered with a whiny control freak idiot who was fully capable in athletics but also full of poor attitude which I think was the biggest disadvantage for their team. They were eliminated half way through that season. This season will include the first ever DEAF contestant as part of the parent/sibling team on the show.
As you read my weekly postings you will see that I tend to support the underdog and the older and more mature contestant. I detest crybabies, arrogance and control freaks on The Amazing Race despite my being a bit of a control freak myself. I believe in real teamwork and partnership in The Amazing Race. I think of alliances on the race as a recipe for disaster and eventual deceit. I could go on to warn you of further biases I have as a dedicated fan of The Amazing Race but I hope you will take time to read my weekly ramblings to learn for yourself. You may love me or hate me for it but I will have fun posting it.
And I must advise you that I watch and compose my blog as the show is being broadcast. Here I will post my immediate unfiltered observations. I most likely will post them BEFORE the show is broadcast in western time zones. So consider this a spoiler warning.
I also offer my own predictions and wishes for winners and people being eliminated each week. I am usually WRONG in my predictions and I will admit it when I am wrong and brag like a brat when I am right, especially if it is a team that I don’t like.
As you read my weekly Amazing Race blog I am assuming that you have researched the teams and read their bio’s on The Amazing Race website. At least I hope you have.
If you want to know how I have expressed myself about previous seasons of The Amazing Race, AND if you have too much time on your hands, then search the archives of my blog on MySpace. You’ll find any title with “The Amazing Race” as my weekly blog entry.
Now on to season 14, the first in a couple years to begin in February. The show has been on since 2001 and I became a fan in 2005. Normally there are TWO seasons in a year with one in the Fall and the other in the late winter and early spring. I tend to enjoy when the show airs new episodes in the winter as they aren’t so frequently delayed due to sporting events on a Sunday afternoon, (ie: NFL Football).
As usual the show begins in Southern California with the 11 teams arriving in marine helicopters then teams got to drive nice Mercedes Benz vehicles through the maddening Southern California traffic to the airport in Los Angeles. The teams had to choose one of two specific flights to either Milan or Zurich then take a train to Switzerland. One team, Jennifer & Preston (a dating couple from South Carolina) missed their train connection and while waiting found themselves in a heated discussion. One would think that missing that train would put the team behind but once in the town of Locarno, teams had to travel on foot to a church and any lost time that some teams had would be made up.
This is what I call the “Amazing Race Team Equalizer” where because of flight schedules or closed facilities teams that had fallen behind will catch up and possibly surpass other teams.
Teams had camp out in front of a church and signed up for an assigned departure time the next morning. Each time had a few teams leaving in 15 minute intervals. The next morning gave teams their clue to travel via taxi to a water dam for the season’s first “Roadblock” task of bungy jumping from the water dam.
Did I mention that BUNGY JUMPING is another cure of my dreams of being a contestant on The Amazing Race? Somehow a million dollars isn’t enough for me to do some things. There isn’t a bungy cord strong enough for my fat ass nor am I crazy enough to attach one to me and go over. Sorry but it aint happening for me. I don’t want to be the first Amazing Race contestant to shit my pants on national television.
Well, after the teams Bungy Jumped, they traveled by train to the city of Interlaken where they would have the next task of hiking up a steep and slippery hill then transport heavy blocks of cheese on racks attached to their backs to the bottom of a hill. Teams would have to stack two cheese blocks each at the bottom of the hill.
Several struggled by slipping on the hill, breaking the racks and dropping their round blocks of cheese. This task was especially difficult for 68 year old MEL, the gay father teamed with his gay son MIKE. Mel struggled to carry the 100 pound block of cheese and summoned help from his son to return to the top of the hill. A very early indication that any openly gay representation on this season’s Amazing Race will be very short lived. Also struggling throughout this first leg of the race was 53 year old LINDA, the wife of STEVE in what I could call the token “country bumpkin” team from small town Virginia. Linda was a little emotional and whiny about most things and her husband Steve who is ten years her junior often fussed at his wife to keep up the pace. She was no match for climbing the hill.
After the cheese on the hill, teams were sent to the town of Stechelberg where they would have to locate a group of yodelers at the site of the first PIT STOP. The first to arrive at the pit stop were the mother and son team MARGIE & LUKE and for the first time in Amazing Race history, host Phil Keogian used sign language to tell Margie & Luke their position in the race.
For their first place arrival at the pit-stop, Margie & Luke won a vacation package to Mexico from Amazing Race sponsor Travelocity.
The remaining arrivals were as follows
SECOND PLACE: Siblings TAMMY & VICTOR
THIRD PLACE: Brothers MARK & MICHAEL
During this time, an emotional Luke expressed how he wanted to show the world that deaf people can achieve things. So far, he and his mother made first place.
FOURTH PLACE: Gay father and Gay son MEL & MIKE. Who made it by the luck of other teams being slightly delayed in their travel prior to having to carry the heavy cheese.
FIFTH PLACE: Dating couple AMANDA & KRIS
SIXTH PLACE: Older married couple BRAD& VICTORIA
SEVENTH PLACE: Former Miami Dolphins Cheerleaders JAMIE & CARA.
My bias as a lifelong fan of my hometown Miami Dolphins requires me to support this all-female team, a couple of red head beauty queen cheerleaders who I hope will do better on The Amazing Race than the team they used to cheer for does in a regular NFL season.
EIGHTH PLACE: Sisters (or “Sistas” if you wish) KISHA & JEN
NINTH PLACE: Country bumpkin married couple STEVE & LINDA made it to the pit stop despite the drama dragging and crying of Linda. Something tells me that ninth place is the best we are going to see out of them. But then underdogs do tend to wake up and surprise us. Or stay along just long enough for comic relief.
And then the final two arrivals are an example of creative editing and surprise leading to a foot race to the finish.
TENTH PLACE was the team that appeared most likely to be eliminated as CHRISTIE & JODI were outsmarted into taking what they thought was the “earliest” train to Interlaken but turned out to be the one that would arrive later by taking a longer route. They were last at the final task but barely beat PRESTON & JENNIFER who have upheld the tradition of South Carolinians that have been ELIMINATED very early in The Amazing Race.
It has happened in at least two previous seasons where a team from South Carolina was the first team eliminated. I notice this because my family is from The Palmetto State.
But the people of South Carolina should not feel bad for Preston & Jennifer as they will get to spend the longest time at “The Elimination Station” which is basically being held at a hideaway resort vacation spot while everyone else completes the race. So although they won’t win a million dollars, they still get a pretty nice vacation. See the Amazing Race website for details about the “Elimination Station”.
I notice at the pit-stop that the eliminated PRESTON was wearing an AUBURN UNIVERSITY sweatshirt! And he is from South Carolina, home of the GameCOCKS!
So I guess there may be some happy “cocks” over an Auburn loss.
I know a few Auburn fans who might get offended by that, but its just a blog and I am a smart ass!
Finally, I normally save my predictions for elimination for the second or third episode but I can’t help it. I must predict that STEVE & LINDA will be the next team eliminated. We already see that she is slow and very whiny and Steve is a bit of a klutz. I just don’t seem them surviving another leg.
Now will you survive my next Amazing Race expression to be posted next week? I hope you can. I will do my best.
So see you next week, same Amazing Race time, same blogspot channel.
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