Matthew Shepard was beaten during the overnight hours of October 6-7th 1998 and this is the sad 15th anniversary of that horrific event. On my personal Facebook account I posted the following along with a photo of Matthew Shepard with my own personal experience at the time. On the same day that Matthew was beaten and left for dead I lost my grandfather. So the Facebook post was my account of what happened that week in 1998.
Immediately after I posted this a few friends suggested that I share it. One, person especially to suggest that is a PFLAG MOM and someone I have great admiration for. I could not pass on her suggestion and I thank her for making me share this. The text of that Facebook post is below. It's one of my personal stories and in honor of Matthew Shepard and my grandfather John Pettis. And certainly honoring my now late grandmother too, Mrs. Anna Pettis.
The following below was originally a Facebook post on October 7, 2013 at 10:00 am
Earlier I mentioned this was the 15th anniversary of the passing of my grandfather. Well it is also the 15th anniversary of the horrific beating of Matthew Shepard in Wyoming.
In my personal timeline of that week in 1998 this happened on a Tuesday. I would drive to New York for my grandfather's funeral on Thursday, immediately run errands helping my grandmother and finally we had the funeral on Saturday. Then Sunday it was just me, my mother and grandmother in her apartment. All my grandmother wanted was for the three of us to rest, eat a good meal and relax all day. We had some conversations. But my grandmother constantly watched the news on TV. And after my mother went out for a walk it was my grandmother and me as she watched the news on TV and came the story of what happened to Matthew Shepard.
I even remember we were watching channel 7 (ABC). My memories do have details! The newscast was very detailed and told us everything that happened up to that point Sunday afternoon. The beating, then the hospitalization and the vigil that was being held outside of the hospital. Then the report talked about the trend of violence against gays and lesbians. And something happened with me and my grandmother that evening. I said nothing. I hadn't ever come out to her and actually gave my mother permission to tell her a couple years earlier. I just didn't feel comfortable coming out to my grandmother knowing she was a religious woman and I wasn't prepared for her reaction. None of us were ever comfortable talking about it and there was a history of negative conversations regarding sexuality in my family.
But on that Sunday after my grandfather's funeral when we first heard about Matthew Shepard my grandmother shed a tear for the first time that week. Not for the loss of her husband of 60 years. She was strong all through that. She started crying as she said to me..."Edric please be careful out there. People are crazy and it makes no sense to me why anyone can be hurt for being themselves. And I don't want my grandson to get hurt like that."
I never shared that with anyone. It was a defining moment with me and my grandma. Nobody else was there. And I knew at that point that not only had my mother told my grandmother that I was gay because I was afraid to but my grandmother accepted it just fine and was more concerned about my safety.
I left for the 18 hour drive back to Georgia at 5am the next morning. Along the way I found myself listening to HOWARD STERN on the radio. Back then he was a local NYC show that was heard in a few other cities and as I made my way south I managed to listen to Howard Stern's entire show on stations from New York, Philadelphia and Washington DC as one faded out I would find the next station. And the normally light hearted and joking show was VERY serious and talked about Matthew Shepard and the vigil that was happening and about violence against the LGBT community. It was a totally different Howard Stern than how most of us knew him. Then after his show ended at 10am as I crossed into Virginia, the radio news announced that Matthew Shepard had died.
That hit me with great anger for the rest of the day as I continued driving down I-95 and I-85 and would scan the radio for anything I could hear about what happened. But i'm driving through the bible belt of Virginia and North Carolina now and all I could hear was so-called "Christians" that were claiming Matthew Shepard was a sinner and was going to hell. It was a very long drive home while listening to that crap.
But this tragedy did do something for me. It made me stronger and less timid. Actually I think my grandmother's "approval" had something do with it. Me knowing that my mother and now grandmother was ok with me, I WAS "OK" WITH ME.
So that folks is my #FacebookRantOfTheDay remembering what happened this week 15 years ago and how it personally affected me. I lost my grandfather, the world lost Matthew Shepard and we all gained a whole new spirit of awakening. And so many of us are stronger and determined as a result.
#LGBT #EQUALITY
